"Love Matters Singh": What It Means to Be a Man in This Work

Written by: Prem Kumar - State Program Coordinator (Love Matters India, Teen Book), Bihar

When I began working in the field of sexual and reproductive health, the first thing I heard was:

"This is a job? And for a man?"

At first, it felt like a taunt. Later, I realized that this reaction was exactly why the work needed to be done.

Working across different districts of Bihar with Love Matters India, I quickly understood that the biggest barrier to young people's health was not the lack of medicines or services—it was silence. And in a conservative society, breaking that silence as a man was not easy.

The Day the Word “Love” Became a Problem

One afternoon, during a community session, the atmosphere suddenly changed. Someone noticed our name—Love Matters India—and called the village head.

I found myself standing before a crowd that seemed to have more anger than curiosity.

"Are you here to teach our children about love?" someone demanded.

Calmly, I explained that we were not there to teach romance. We were there to provide accurate information, encourage respect, and create a space where young people could ask questions without shame.

The crowd was not completely convinced that day, but they did not stop us either. Over the following weeks, through repeated conversations, people slowly began to understand.

That confrontation became a turning point. Change rarely happens in a single moment. It grows through patience, dialogue, and trust.

“You Must Be a Condom Agent”

In another village, after a session on safe sex, a few people laughed and said:

"You look like a condom salesman."

I did not argue. I simply asked them to stay for five more minutes.

By the end of the session, those same people were asking serious questions—some about their own health, others about the future of their sons.

That is the reality of this work. Often, humor is simply a wall that hides curiosity.

What I Never Expected Would Matter Most

There were girls who sat silently in our groups for months before speaking for the first time.

There was a boy who had spent months worrying about changes in his body because he did not have the courage to ask anyone.

There was a girl frightened by menstruation who later went on to share accurate information with her friends.

One sentence has stayed with me:

"For the first time, someone listened to us without judging us."

Because I learned that truly listening is just as important as providing information.

We also witnessed a change in the fight against child marriage.

In Patna, Rambabu's marriage had already been arranged. After attending our sessions, he said:

"I won't get married until I can stand on my own feet."

In Khagaria, Pooja successfully stopped her own marriage.

These were not small decisions. In their communities, they were acts of courage that challenged deeply rooted norms.

The People Who Helped Me Stay the Course

This journey was never mine alone.

Just a few days after I joined the organization, Vithika Ma'am told me that I would represent Love Matters in a panel discussion on sexual and reproductive health.

I immediately replied:

"I don't know if I can do it."

She simply said:

"You can. Go with confidence."

That was all I needed.

Later, when difficult and sensitive questions appeared in our WhatsApp groups and I was unsure how to respond, the guidance shared by Aarti Ma'am became an important source of learning. She taught me that difficult questions should be met not with fear, but with sensitivity and care.

Strong leadership does more than show the way—it gives people the courage to walk difficult paths.

Why Men Need to Be Part of This Conversation

When men speak openly about sexual and reproductive health, they make an important contribution to society.

Whether among friends or in conversations with young people, their willingness to engage helps break long-standing barriers of silence and embarrassment.

This is not because men are more important. It is because their silence has also been part of the problem.

From a Joke to a Badge of Trust

Today, people call me "Love Matters Singh."

What began as a joke has become a mark of trust.

This work is no longer just a job for me. It has become a mission -  a mission where every young person, whether a boy or a girl, can speak freely without fear or shame, make informed decisions about their lives, and pursue their dreams with confidence.

And now, more men need to step forward and join this conversation.

Prem Kumar works with Love Matters India in Bihar, supporting sexual and reproductive health education among young people.